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Dressed in a simple khaki shirt, blue jeans and a spiky bronze necklace, she is stuck in the Shanghai traffic, running late for her video shoot with the Global Times Metro Shanghai.What sets this young lady, Vicky, apart from other expats in this city, however, is the person sitting next to her - a tall, handsome man in a crisp white shirt, speaking with a deep, confident voice. Chinese men dating or married to foreign women are still a rather rare form of interracial love.Photos: CFPHowever, the opposite - a foreign male with a Chinese wife or, even more likely, multiple local girlfriends - has become common to the point of cliché.It is estimated that approximately 4 percent of all annual marriages in China were intercultural, according to the country's statistical yearbook.White men or light skinned men command more respect in Asia. The idea of dating or marrying a Chinese man never really crossed my mind before I first came to China in 1999.The attractive Asian woman is usually accompanied by a white man, and the Asian man is more likely to be alone or with his male friends.The Invisible Man Every time I’ve gone to a bar or a club with a white friend (who is NOT a male model), I get the very distinct feeling that I am invisible to all the women.

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In essence, they find this world of online dating extremely limiting because of the limits placed on them by America's standard of beauty.I assumed they weren’t dating material for me, and I wasn’t alone.An American man who had once taught in China famously told me, “You don’t have to worry about the students falling in love with you.” It made sense to me.Even the handful of Asian men who went to high school with me in my very white, very middle-class suburb didn’t seem to date anyone, let alone a girl like me.It was as if the universe decreed that there was a racial and cultural line that I was never meant to cross if I wanted to find love.




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